A New Beginning

"Hi, are you new here?" asked a boy at the school, Northern High School.

"Yeah, I'm new," I replied, "My name is Toni."

"Toni? But you are a girl."

"I know, I didn't pick that name, my mom did. What's your name?"

"I'm John and I am in grade eleven," replied John.

"Same here. I am supposed to go to this room, 1C78, and I don't know where that is."

"That's a homeroom and I am going there too. We must be in the same homeroom. Cool." John and I went to our homeroom.

When I got there everyone stopped what they were doing and they looked straight at me. Boy, I've only been here a week and this town is the strangest town I have ever been at. And quit looking at me. I am new, whoopi-do. I thought. A teacher came up to me:

"Hi, you must be Toni, I've been waiting for you." Oh yeah, everyone is waiting for me and I have never been here. I wish mom didn't have to move. I am getting sick of moving all the time. The teacher continued, "Class, this is Toni and she is here for the year. She just moved from Toronto."

"Hi," replied some students when I sat down in the closest seat around. A lot of the students are still looking at me.

Another bell rang. Oh, great, now I am supposed to find this other room and I have no idea where it is. John came up to me:

"Where do you have to go now?"

"I have Biology 30 in room 3B21, and I have no idea where that is."

"You're in Bio 30, wow. I'll take you to the room but I don't have that class, I have Bio 20. You must be really smart."

"No, not really. I took Bio 20 and Science 10 last year in Toronto and they were really boring." We were walking along some hall and all the classes had the letter and number, 3B. "This school must be split up into wings and floors."

"Yep, 3 means the third floor and the B means it is the B-wing," said John. "What other classes do you have?"

"I have English 20, then I have Chem 30, then I have lunch. After lunch I have Math 30 and a spare," I said.

"Wow, you have a lot of difficult classes. How did you get into all of these 30 classes?"

"In Toronto, we had a lot of choice in classes and I have been very good in maths and sciences for as long as I can remember. English and History and other social sciences I am not very good at."

"Oh, I see," said John, "Well, here is your class and have a good day. I'll see you at lunch."

"See ya," I replied and I opened the door into 3B21. I sat down in a corner desk and everyone looked at ne again.

"Toni? Can you please come to the front for a minute," asked the Biology teacher. I went to the front of the class again.

"Class, this is Toni and she will be here for this year."

I sat back down. A girl ahead of me turned around and said, "Hi I am Sandra and I am glad you came to this school." Yeah, me too, NOT. Why can't people just leave me alone?

The class ended and I was glad to get out of there. Sandra came up to me, where is your next class?"

"English 20 and it is in room 2A01. I don't know where the wing A is?"

"Just go down those stairs and turn to your right and you are in the A-wing."

"Thanks, Sandra." Sandra didn't sound that bad and she told me that she doesn't live that far from me. May be I will see her again, actually I hope so. I went down the stairs and I found the room.

I found out that English here at Northern is the same as in Toronto, really, very boring. And the teacher is worse than the one in Toronto. Yes, I deteste English, but I have to take it to pass grade eleven and twelve.

Chem 30 was the most interesting class so far during the day, but all it was was repeat from last year. After Chem, I went to the lunch room and, yes, John was there. I sat down with him. I just opened my lunch when Sandra came up to me and sat down beside me. Wow, someone was willing to sit down beside me.

During the rest of lunch, John, Sandra and I talked and it was nice.

After lunch I had Math 30 and Sandra was in that class too. We talked some more and I got to know more about her and soon enough that class ended.

I had spare but I talked to the head teacher of the study hall and he allowed me to explore the school some more.

After spare I waited for Sandra and we walked home together. I said:

"May be this school won't be soo bad. I just wish that mom and I didn't have to move so much. It seems like every six months to a year we have to move."

"Toni, why do you have to move so much?"

"It's mom's job," I said telling Sandra a fib. We move so much because someone is always after us and is trying to kill us. But I couldn't tell Sandra this, she would talk too much and it would eventually come out and I can't risk that.

When I got home, mom was home.

"How was your day sweetie?"

"Fine mom, just fine," I said and I went to my room. I brought out my journal.

*****************************************************************

Dear journal,
I really do not like it here. Everyone asks too many questions. Everyone at school knew I was new and that really bothers me. I liked it in Toronto, I was anonymous, but here everyone knows everyone. I feel way too uncomfortable.

You are my only friend that I can tell my secrets to and you will come with me. At school, this John person asks a lot of questions and he can be very annoying. Sandra is ok, she doesn't asks too many questions and she takes in what I tell her.

I feel very uneasy about this school and all. I have a bad sense about this place. Something just isn't right. It feels like the last time I had this feeling that thing DID happen and we had to move again.

Mom's calling me for supper, I gotta run.
Toni

*****************************************************************

A few days have gone by in school and it is ok. I am not that wild about it. I am just preparing myself for something bad to happen. I know, aren't I really positive?

Sandra is an ok person but I have to get to know her better before I say too much to her. I have this feeling that she senses that too. I have asked her a lot of questions. May be in a week or two I will tell her more about myself.

I tried out for soccer at Northern High School and I got on to the team. The coaches must really like what they saw. I was watching others and they weren't nearly as good. I think they want me for the team. Soccer may be good way for me to meet others and to have fun? Also, the coach called me yesterday and said we have a game in one week and that we have practice tonight.

I called Sandra, "Sandra, I made the soccer team and we have a practice tonight, do you want to come and watch?"

"Sure I would love to," replied Sandra.

At six-thirty, Sandra came to my place and we went to school. Sandra said, "I have never been at school after five. Isn't that weird?"

"No, not really. Tell me what you think of me after practice is done, ok?"

"Sure."

We got to school and I put my soccer equipment on. I was the only one on the team with cleats. I asked the coach if it was ok if I wore cleats and he said sure.

Practice began and everyone was amazed with my ability. We practiced on kicking the ball into the net, to get air under the ball and we worked on headbutts. We ran the field three times and after the three times the coach gave us a five minute break. The rest of the girls came up to me.

"Toni, you are amazing. Have you tried out for the provincial team, because you would be able to get on to it."

"No, soccer is soccer to me and nothing else," I replied.

"But you have a gift," replied Joanne.

"Ok, girls, enough chatting, time to get back to work," said the coach. He worked us really hard and after another hour he said we could go home. We would have practice for the rest of the week after school.

"Wow, you are amazing," Sandra said with a smile on her face. "I was wondering, would you like to come over to my place tonight and spend the night?"

"I'll have to ask my mom," I said, and I want to go. We got to my place, and I went to mom:

"Mom, can I please go over to Sandra's place for the night?"

"I guess, just remember to take your meds and such with you," replied my mom tiredly.

"Thanks, mom, and try to get some sleep please," I said.

"I will try."

Sandra came to my room and I packed for the night. Sandra asked, "What is this about meds?"

"Well, I have epilepsy, asthma and am allergic to everything. It really sucks."

"Yeah, I can tell," replied Sandra.

I wnt to mom and gave her a hug goodbye and told her that I will be good. Sandra and I left to go to her house. I just hope her mom doesn't mind if I come over.

Sandra told me to come to her room and told me that I can sleep on her sister's bed. For a while that night Sandra and I talked and I got to know her quite a bit better. I wonder if I should tell Sandra about my father and being hunted down. I don't know, may be I should. She has told me a lot about herself. I think I will.

"Sandra, I want to tell you something, but it a secret. You promise to never, ever tell anyone?"

"I promise," replied Sandra curiously.

"Well, you know that I have moved around a lot, right?" Sandra nodded, and I continued, "Well, the reason why mom and I have to move around so much is because we are always being hunted by my father." I had to stop for a second and catch my breath, I have never told any one this secret. "He has abused mom and I so we decided to leave. We ran out on him and he's been able to find us all the time. We are always scared because we never know what may happen."

"My God, I didn't know you were going through this. I am terribly sorry for you, for having to live the kind of life you live. I can tell why you don't want to tell anyone. I also promise to not tell anyone. May I ask, how did he abuse you?"

"He physically and sexually abused both of us. He said awful things about us to his friends and to us. It was awful, we were both degraded so much that mom was to the point of suicide," I said.

Sandra and I talked some more but we soon fell asleep. I had one of the best sleeps I have had in a long time.

In the morning, Sandra and I went to school together. After school, I had soccer practice and Sandra waited for me. I am glad I told someone about my past.

Sandra walked home with me. We came up to the house and the front door was wide open. I have this funny feeling that something is wrong. I turned to Sandra . . .

"Sandra, I have this feeling that my nightmare is coming true. Can we go to your house and call the police?"

"Yeah, whatever I can do to help you," Sandra felt uncomfortable, too.

Sandra and I called the police and they came to the house. The police went through the house and found that my mom was stabbed and left to die but they couldn't find my father. I went in with the police officer. I saw mom and I ran up to her. She felt very cold. I was scared, I went to my room and I got my journal. When I came back to the living room, mom was on a strecher and she was covered up.

The police officer said, "Toni, you will have to come with us. We know you didn't do anything wrong but we have to figure something out to keep you safe."

"Ok," I replied, I was still in shock. The police officer talked but I wasn't really listening. Mom was fine when I left and she felt comfortable. Damn, I should not have left her alone. Why did I leave her alone? I started to cry, Sandra sat beside me and gave me a hug. Why? Why did I leave her alone? I knew we were being threatened, but why did I leave her to die?

Sandra said, "Toni can live with us for a while. Toni told me what happened and I am sure mom and dad won't mind if Toni lives with us."

"What do you think, Toni?" I just shrugged my shoulders to the response. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Can I see my mom? I want to see my mom. Please, can I see mom? I need to see her to see if she is ok," I pleaded with the police officer. I couldn't handle it not having mom with me. She was my only support system I have.

We went to the hospital and the coroner talked the police officer while I looked at mom. Mom is dead, I can't believe it. Mom was alive when I left home and now she is dead. It is not fair.

The police officer sat me down at the coroner's and told me that my father was in town and he did this to my mom. The officer continued saying that my father raped and then killed mom. The officer allowed me to sit with mom for a while longer.

The police took us back to my house and I was told to pack my things and be ready to move in with Sandra. I packed my stuff and I took a few pieces of mom's clothing. I grabbed our favorite soup bowls and mugs, and packed them away. I am not going to allow mom to leave me ever again.

We went over to Sandra's house. The police officer talked to Sandra's parents and told them about my history and what just happened. They said they would take me in for as long as I needed to be taken in.

For the next few weeks I went to school, soccer, and came to Sandra's and wrote in my journal.

*****************************************************************

Dear journal,
Sandra's family is nice, but I miss mom. I really miss her a lot. I used to talked to her about what dad did to us, but now I can't. I have this feeling that 'He' is watching me. Ok, I am scared. I am quite scared. I want to talk to someone but I am afraid something bad will happen again.

I am sorry mom, I didn't mean to kill you. I was hoping to create a friend and I lost a mom instead.

I've got tears coming down and I am spoiling the pages, so I better go, but I will talk to you soon again.
Toni

*****************************************************************

I told Sandra that I have this feeling that 'He' is watching me and that right now I still do not feel safe.

"Sandra, he started with mom and I know he wants to finish me off. I am scared and I don't know what to do," I said.

Sandra told her mom and we sat down and talked. We closed all the blinds so 'He' couldn't look in and see what we are up to. We talked about getting a better security system and other stuff like that but I still didn't feel safe.

I continued in school until Christmas time and I asked the school officials if I could schooling at home for the rest of the year. They didn't like that idea, so I had to go back to school after Christmas was over.

*****************************************************************

Dear journal,
Ever since mom died, I haven't felt safe. I tried to get get homeschooling but the school didn't like that idea. I talked with Sandra's parents and they increased the security system in the home but that was it. I just don't feel safe. Sandra is one of the nicest people I have ever met.

Hey, I just thought of something, what if we do the following... Sandra and her family go out for a while and leave me alone in the house (of course, there would be a police officer in the house) and we wait til dad comes in and then the police can catch him.

I want to go and tell the rest of the family and see what they think. Gotta run,
Toni

*****************************************************************

I told Sandra's family and they thought it was a good idea. We also went to the police department and they said it would be a good idea but dangerous.

We talked some more and everyone agreed on a plan.

Two weeks later, the family went out for supper but I stayed home. A plain clothed police officer came to the house right after school and stayed in the house. I was told to act as though there was no worry and to have fun.

I turned in the T.V. and was watching "Seinfeld" when I heard rattling at the door. I paused what I was doing in my hands and listened carefully. I snapped once to acknowledge to police officer who I think it was.

The rattling stopped and I put my head down on the couch. I wanted to look like I was asleep.

I heard a deep voice say, "Yes, this is going to work just fine. I will be able to get rid of this slut too." He came close to my body and then I heard . . .

"FREEZE, this is the police. You are under arrest and anything you say will be used against you in court."

I opened my eyes and my father was there along with five other police officers. My father was put into handcuffs and I smiled a smile for the first time in months.

After my father left, I called the resturant and I told Sandra that everything worked out. They were happy and so was I, to an extent. I wanted monm there so she can be proud of me.

Sandra's mom came home and gave me a hug. She said, "You know your mom would be very proud. You got your father arrested. How many seventeen year olds, do you know, are able to do that?"

"Yeah, I am glad, but I wish mom was here right now to share my joy," I said turning away from Sandra's mom.

"I bet you anything that your mom is looking down right now and is smiling on you. I believe your mom is with you right now and always will be," replied Sandra.

"You think so?" I said turning to everyone.

"Yep," said Sandra again.

"Thanks," and I gave them all a hug. They were smiling at me and I was smiling back.

"By the way, Toni," began Sandra, "you have a lovely smile."

"You are the best!" I replied with a bigger smile and a laugh.

That night, I had the best sleep ever.

I finished grade eleven with honors and the next year I graduated from Northern High School with the highest marks in school. When I graduated I wore my mom's dress she wore when she finished GED. I wasn't to forget my mom that easily.

I stayed with Sandra's family until I went to college and I refer to them as my family. May be the town of Northern isn't so bad after all.

Back to My Home Page
I do not mind replies on my writing.
miquie.geo[at]yahoo.com